Anonymous asked:
Marry me.
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me and my girl talkin dirty
jxnc:
payneandsimple0gf: babe what do you want me to do to you?
me: I want you to explain how Spongebob Squarepants seemed to be the only fry cook at the Krusty Krab. Everything in this underwater world we know as Bikini Bottom is pretty westernized in terms of its customs and general rules. so do they not have labor laws? Spongebob should only be working 40 hours a week because we all know that Mr. Krabs would never give Spongebob any overtime. So we can only assume that he has 2 days off. Being the only restaurant in Bikini Bottom would warrant it being open at least 6 days a week and that is far too many hours for Spongebob to be constantly working there. So who is the other fry cook?
gf: hun i didn’t mean–
me: babe. who. is the other. fry cook.
davykesey answered:
In the movie (500) Days of Summer the main character falls in love with the idea of a girl, rather than the actual girl.
I know you aren’t literally proposing marriage, but this is about tumblr culture as a whole. Tumblr users love to romanticize about people that live far away that seem really great but in reality are just as great as the people in your own circle. The difference is that you have to deal with the flaws of those around you and you don’t even see many of the flaws of those who live 500 miles away.
I think my curse that is impossible for me to get over is like Tom Hanson’s from 500 Days of Summer. He couldn’t ever be truly happy unless he was with somebody he loved. That’s me. Even when I’m single and having the best day of my life and have no worries, I’m always looking for that girl, that one girl, to make everything worth it. Some people were put on this planet to sing, some to kill and cause pain, some to comfort, some to lead and inspire, and some to entertain. I believe my sole purpose on this godforsaken little planet is to love a girl with my whole heart and have them reciprocate it.
The (500) Days of Summer attitude of ‘He wants you so bad’ seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.
The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (via calmitate)
THIS THIS THIS, because this is a BEAUTIUFL movie, but so many people miss the real point of it.
(via theyellowraincoat)
You a hoe.
- Girl: Why?
- Boy: Cause you have casual sex with niggas.
- Girl: You have casual sex with women.
- Boy: So? I'm a man. You a female.
- Girl: So?
- Boy: Females can't do that.
- Girl: Why not?
- Boy: Cause, man.
- Girl: Cause what?
- Boy: You just not supposed to.
- Girl: But why is that?
- Boy: .................cause you gone be somebody mama one day.
- Girl: Not necessarily. And the casual sex I have now doesn’t affect my mothering skills in the future. Just like yours won’t affect your fathering skills in the future.
- Boy: ....................................................................................................................................................................you still a hoe.
- Me: *Sees a girl with long straight hair*
- Me: Nice.
- Me: *Sees a girl with thick curly hair*
- Me: Nice.
- Me: *Sees a girl with short brightly colored hair*
- Me: Nice.
- Me: *Sees a girl with no hair*
- Me: Nice.
- Me: *Sees a girl*
- Me: Nice.
“You should date a girl who reads.”
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
Rosemarie Urquico (via wordsnquotes)
It was winter when you broke my heart
I packed the pieces into my little car
I packed some maps and headed south
Didn’t blink an eye, didn’t turn aroundI drove ‘til winter turned to spring
I drove ‘til little birds began to sing
I drove ‘til greener grass peeked up at me
I drove ‘til stars were all I could seeI didn’t stop ‘til spring turned to summer
Only stopped when I found a summer
That had never felt the cold at all,
No dying leaves, no chilly snowfallThe sun kissed the broken shards
Of my silly, beaten, broken heart
I molded the pieces back together
It’s not the same, but it’s somehow betterEvery night as I lie, the salty sea air
Runs its gentle fingers through my hair
The waves sing sweet lullabies in my ear
Little by little, my mind begins to clearSlowly, slowly I forget you
Until there isn’t much to remember at all
adventuringqueen (via wnq-writers)
dundermifflinscranton
